12
Number 12
Quarterback
★★★★★
Threw three picks last week. Opened a tin this week and felt nothing. That's the product working.✓ Verified on the depth chart
Limited drop
Official pre-game ritual · Brossard Div 2
SwampJuice
Twenty pouches in a gator-scale tin. Built for the twelve minutes between warm-up and kickoff, when nobody talks and everybody stares at the other sideline.
$19.99
CAD · per tin
TPS + TVQ at checkout
TPS + TVQ at checkout
Flavour · Gator Mint
Strength
16
16 MG. One strength. Coach said a second option would only cause debate in the group chat.
Delivered before kickoff. Sideline drop, bench 2. Every game day.
Win guarantee. If we lose, you still lost. No refunds.
Tasting notes
Opens with cold mint and wet grass from a 9 AM field. The middle brings citrus and mild regret about Saturday night. Finishes long and dry, like a 4th-and-goal with no timeouts left.
Pairs with a black jersey, a silent warm-up lap and one long look across the field.
Specs
| Count | 20 slim pouches per tin |
|---|---|
| Strength | 16 MG (the only option) |
| Tin | Aluminium, embossed gator-scale wall, orange pinstripe, screw lid |
| Lid art | Crowned gator with game ball, "Pre-game ritual approved" |
| Approved by | Swamp Kings coaching staff |
| Best before | Kickoff |
From the locker room
88
Number 88
Wide receiver
★★★★★
The scale texture on the tin gives better grip than my gloves. Please don't tell my gloves.✓ Verified on the depth chart
54
Number 54
Rusher
★★★★☆
Minus one star because Packer Tears sold out before I got any. Will be harvesting a fresh batch on game day.✓ Verified on the depth chart
